Role of a Defender

From Producer: " Hey, are you ready? "

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( W clears throat)..... "Lalalala.... Ok I am ready."

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From Producer: "Alright 3, 2, 1 Action!"

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From W: "As a defender, you give hard tackles to the strikers or midfielders.

By all means, you can even break their legs if needed.

You do not let them have a clear shot at goal. "

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"As a defender, you challenge for all the balls in the air.

The ball is more important than your head.

In doing that, you destroy their plays.

Only then, they will only be restricted playing the ball on the ground."

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" As a defender, you ...................... erm.....................

...................... shit..................................

( asks the photographer) why the picture like that?"

( the photographer shrugs)

" !$%#@...... Mmm.... As a defender, you............. er............ dance?

...............eh.................................. to distract your opponent?

Uh.................... Okay...................... I really don't what to say.

You just look at the picture and tell me. I quit! "

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Do not stop scrolling, this is not a chain letter

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-doubleU

PS: All the photos are grabbed from http://app.tabblo.com/studio/stories/view/91034 .

Friendster Part 2

For the past few weeks, I have joined a few freshmen orientation camps ( FOC). From there my pool of friends enlarged. Naturally my "friends" in Friendster increased too. I can't help but go and look at their friendster profiles.

Here's some shocking revelations:

1) Some of my juniors have so many friends! 400 plus! One or two of them have 2 accounts. Are those people really their friends? It's like they add practically anyone who they share the air with. In fact, some of the people in friendsters aren't close at all, what's the point of accepting their friends request?


2) My new friends have so many testimonials. What is a testimonial some might ask. Now I give it to you.

Courtesy of www.thefreedictionary.com

tes·ti·mo·ni·al, noun.
1. A statement in support of a particular truth, fact, or claim.
2. A written affirmation of another's character or worth; a personal recommendation.
3. Something given in appreciation of a person's service or achievement; a tribute.

Yeah right. Some of them have 180 plus alone. That's like half of the number of friends. To me, half of the testimonials are just messages. You will know what I mean. Let's take a look at some of the unconventional "testimonials" which I have came across.


Testi no1.
From Zoe to Lynn

ahhh.. i tthink i saw u.. yesterday at tm walking out of tm i mean.. i was going in.. =D

From W: Lynn, luckily you are not classmates with Zoe. If not you will get a testimonial from her everyday. " Hey i think i saw u in class today! I was inside too!"

Testi no2.
From May to Joan

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR! may your christmas be filled with hugs and kisses!!!

much love, may :)

From W: Obviously somebody is trying to save up on her sms. If I know May, I will have 5 testimonials in 5 years and I haven't included those about Chinese New Year, Hari Raya and National Day etc. " Happy ____________ (insert festival name)! may your ___________( insert festival name) be filled with hugs and kisses!!! "


Testi no3.
From Kim to Patricia.

......-"'').)'"-......
.....(__(';')__)......
.......'..(")(")...'...
.........."-.,.-".........

hii frenn`!!*__.

`juuz.dr0pPin.by.
x-__.t0.lett.ya.n0ee.daat.
*__.`u.arre.n0rtt.f0rrg0ttenn.(/\_/\").
x-
__.gD luck in watever thing u do
>",<.

_./'\._.**..**...
*. .* * euu aree *sspecial* .*
/.*.\ ..**.,.**.*.

take care always. & smile always. =) (``__.fFrReNnSs.-x.*//

From W: This forwarded message tells us nothing about the Patricia. It simply shows that the Kim knows little about Patricia to send her this testimonial. Kim can send this to all her friends and they will be obliged to accept it anyway.


Testi no4.
From Jackson to Lisa.

Dropped

by

to

say

Hi!

From Lisa: Hi.


-doubleU

There are so many cyclops around!

Just yesterday, I took a bus trip to the airport to see a friend off to Down Under. Before the bus reached Terminal 1, it stopped at the security checkpoint. A policewoman looking very stern came up onto the bus. She scanned around while walking to the back, then she walked back to the front and out of the bus. The bus is now safe of any explosives.

What? Does she have some mutant powers or what?
" Yes, I have checked everyone's bags and the whole bus and I am sure there's no bombs in the vehicle because of my X-rays eyes!"

The bus halted at another security checkpoint before going to Terminal 2 again. This time a policeman came aboard. I suppose he is of a higher calibre mutant. The reason? He came up, said hello to the bus driver, glanced the whole bus from the front and stepped out of the bus later.

Yeah I know this might be his 876th bus that he has checked but please do it with more commitment. If I were a terrorist, I would have blown up the place without much difficulty.

It seems like the security at Kallang Stadium is even tighter than Changi Airport. Every spectator is ordered to open his bag and dispose of any plastic water bottles in sight before entering the stadium. Yes, plastic bottles.

I actually agreed with Mr Brown who labelled the SAF officers LTA Eye Power. Imagine at a training shed where the men are supposed to clean their arms and there's no superiors around. You can see some of them dozing off or basically slacking around. All it needs is one 2LT to stand in front of them, just using his eyes to look around and the efficiency would have gone up. If there is LTA Eye Power, then there should be PTE Wayang.

Of course, the magnitude of the eye power increases with the rank.

And this senario is not restricted to the SAF. It occurs in many places too. In a classroom without a teacher will be like a bustling market. An office without the manager will still be filled with keyboard typing noises, that is the employees chatting on MSN.

I have a soccer teammate who actually marks opponents with his eyes. His opponent would run out of his vicinity and got the ball. This friend of mine, with his eyes, looking at the opposition player with full of determination, hoped that the ball will be swept off his feet with his visual forces. I would really like to learn from him. He gave a whole new dimension to defending.

If he was playing the last man, he would have been marking the whole opposition team, with their keeper included.


-doubleU